You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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