how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
