she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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