Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
