remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
