Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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