I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
