dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
