My first STD was from a foam party
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
