Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
