tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
