i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Randomize
