Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
