I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
