i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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