dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
