He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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