Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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