going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize