I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Is Oprah even human
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
