So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
