we're chasing vodka with high fives
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
