I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
