Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
