When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
