Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize