god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
this is an emotional support booty call
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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