trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
