That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
