That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
