I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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