dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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