your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
