I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
