dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
