How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
