R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
