do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
