I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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