There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
