Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize