Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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