I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Come share oat with me in your robe
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
