I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
