So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
