we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
