thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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