my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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