Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
