There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
