no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I can't put those talents on a resume
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
