i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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