It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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