So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
