bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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