after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
