evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
