If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
