What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize