if you like me you must not know who I am
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Small penises have feelings too.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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