So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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