I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
