Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize