Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
