people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
