sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
