my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I will be naked everywhere
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
