i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
