i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
