When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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