Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Edward fifth and chaser hands
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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