She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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