ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize