Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
